You know you're an autocrosser when...

[ConeJunkie]

YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN AUTOCROSSER WHEN:

-You take your helmet along when you go buy new eyeglasses or check out cars
(seats).
-You feel compelled on a road trip to beat your previous time.
-You are happiest when your car's tires are worn to racing depth (wear bars
showing).
-When something falls off your car, you wonder how much weight you just saved.
-When you hear "overcooked it", instead of food, you think off course.
-You change engine oil every other week.
-You sometimes hear little noises from your passengers when you get on the
throttle right after turning in.
-You really enjoy showing the tailgater how to drive around a highway off ramp.
-Your racing budget is one of the big three - mortgage, car payments, dating.
-Your email address refers to your car rather than you.
-You walk proper lines through the grocery store.
-You have paid $4 for a gallon of fuel without complaining.
-You buy new parts because you can't remember where you stuck the spares.
-You bought a racecar before buying a house.
-You bought a racecar before furniture for the house.
-You are looking for a tow vehicle and you still have not bought furniture.
-You find that you need a new house because you've outgrown your garage and the
neighbors are threatening violence if you park
one more vehicle on the street or in the front yard.
-The requirements you give your real estate agent are (in order of importance):
1. 8-car climate controlled garage with an attached shop.
2. 3 phase 220V outlets in the garage.
4. A grease pit.
5. Deaf neighbors.
7. Some sort of house with a working toilet and shower on the property
somewhere

- You measure all family acquisitions in terms of the number of tires that could
have been purchased.
- You sit in your car in a dark garage and make car noises and shift and
practice your heel and toe, while waiting for your motor to get back from the
machine shop.
-You look at the purchase of tools as a long-term investment.
-Your garage holds more cars than your house has bedrooms.
-You have enough spare parts to build another car.
-More than one auto supply house knows your voice and calls you by name.
-You have car parts in your cubicle at work.
- You cannot remember the last time you relaxed on a weekend.
-You're registered for wedding gifts at Auto Zone, Pep Boys and NAPA.

-You meet someone who looks familiar, but can't place them until they tell you
what kind of car they drive.
-Your Christmas list begins with a set of Falken Azenis (bonus points if your
spouse knows what they are)
-You have a separate drawer for garage clothes.
-Your bathroom reading material is SportsCar, Grassroots Motorsports and Top
End.

-People only recognize you when you have your helmet on.
-You talk to other cars on the road calling them by their manufacturers name.
-Your first date involves you getting her/him to crew for you.
-Your family vacations are planned around Divisionals and Nationals.
-You astound the clerk at Sears by breaking a breaker bar every week or two.
-You remember the dates of every race you have entered, but can't remember the
wife's birthday.
-You complain when cars in front of you on highway off ramps don't stay on their
line causing your exit speed to drop.
-A neighbor asks to borrow some oil and you reply "Synthetic?" he responds
"Vegetable".
-You enjoy driving in the rain on the way to work.
-You always-late apex the intersection.
-You always do a heel & toe downshift while whoever might be your passenger
looks at you really funny.
-You can't stand under steer.
-You think traction control and ABS is for those who do not know how to drive.
-The local police and state patrol has photos of your car taped to their
dashboards.
-The local tire shop will not honor the tread life warranty on any car you have
been within 50 yards of.
-You consider the redline as a conservative suggestion and the rev limiter as a
fun limiter.
-When someone referrers to the "good book" you think of the SCCA Solo 2 rules.
-You know the 1/4 mile times and skid pad numbers for your riding lawnmower. And
you want to improve them.
-You know the "racing line" of every road on your daily commute.
-You have started looking for sponsors for your daily commute?
-You have slalomed in a construction zone and counted penalty points in the rear
view mirror.
-After your suggestion of a location for the family vacation, your spouse
responds: "What SCCA Region is that"?

[Jbgti]

hahahah Those are freakin great!! I count numerous ones that apply to me

[dfsmith]

Yes, yes, yes, no, yes, no, yes, yes ......

WAAAAY too many of those are WAAAY too familiar.

[Williampreza]

And the one about "Dead Man's Curve" that one was pretty funny! On the other post.... You know the one about the brake before you........

nevermind